"Why Talking About Our Problems Helps So Much "
When your car is broken, you may know how to fix it or how to find someone who can. Emotions, on the other hand, are a little more complicated to fix. There is no tool that you can take and fix what is broken. But you have a special tool in your hand that can always be used: and the tool is, talk about your feelings! Just talking about your feelings out loud to someone else can help. So, why do we avoid or believe it doesn't work?
There are many reasons why talking about our problems can be difficult. Some people (especially men) are taught or grow up getting used to internalizing feelings, instead of giving them a voice. Sometimes, the emotions you are dealing with - such as guilt for something you have done or shame about how you think you are perceived or seen by people - can seem so overwhelming, so devastating, so hard to deal with that you cannot motivate yourself to talk about it..
Regardless of the reason, conversations or talking about your problems have powerful psychological benefits that may not be obvious at first. When we discuss "talking about your problems", it can relieve emotional stress, you feel more relaxed and calm.
Sometimes you just have to say how you are feeling without a real solution plan. "I had the worst day at work!" it can be the start of a conversation that helps to process the stress of a difficult day.
Fights happen in relationships. But hiding your feelings from yourself can cause problems between you and your partner. Seeking for solutions to your relationship problems is always a good thing, just being able to be open about your feelings with your partner can also make your communication healthier.
When we talk about our problems, sometimes we are not looking for a specific solution. Finding out what you can do to improve your situation is certainly good, but just verbalizing or saying how you are feeling can also be part of the solution.
Talking helps in other ways, too. Many times when we talk with a friend, a family member or a therapist, we are stuck, we are frozen. We don’t know what to do. But as we talk, we hear ourselves express feelings and information that have not been expressed before. This experience of hearing ourselves can allows us to suddenly find or think of what to do. A solution pops into our mind, a solution comes in our mind.
Just as important as choosing who to talk to is when you talk to them. Your friends may want to support you, to help you, but they have their own lives. Asking if they have the time and energy to talk before sharing your emotional bags can help you both be better prepared for the conversation.
However, just like anything in life, everything that is too much is bad, and can even be harmful and have the opposite effect.
Talking about problems aloud can help, but stay focused on it and talk about negative experiences in your life again and again and again, consistently - can have the opposite effect, making you more stressed and prolonging the time that a problem bothers you. So be aware and pay attention if you talk about the same problem over and over.
Of course, this process can still be messy or confusion. Some days, talking about your problems may just be complaining about something that happened at work, but others may involve crying into someone’s shoulder for an hour. It can seem embarrassing or uncomfortable the first few times, but the more you open up and get used to it, the easier it will be to share how you feel.
Getting used (to be accustomed to do something)
Overwhelming (severe, something heave, extremely strong or intense )
Regardles (without being affected or influenced by someone or something)
Relieve (to make pain or another bad physical feeling less unpleasant)
Stuck (to be frozen or be fixed in a particular position or unable to move or be moved)
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